A huge thank you to Carlos who was game to share his vasectomy story with me this week!

As mentioned at the end of the comic, there’s still lots of info about vasectomies out there that warrant further research if you’re contemplating it. Take a peek at Planned Parenthood.

Don’t fancy yourself a permanent form of birth control? We’ve covered several other forms here (but not all of them, of course!). Hopefully, soon we’ll have comics on tubular ligation and bilateral salpingectomy for those of you with uteruses.

Since we’re weeks away from Valentine’s Day, it’s worth reminding you all that our best-sex-toys of the year list can be found here, and if you are looking for a store to shop with, well, we love ALL the ones we list on our site: seriously, I’ve not been swapping any of them out these past few years, because they are all wonderful people with ace stores.

ALSO, the day AFTER valentine’s, Erika and I will be in SEATTLE doing a book signing at Babeland!!! Check it out here.

↓ Comic Transcript
The comic starts out with a view from the inside of a fridge as a man reaches in. He looks back as he picks up a container and asks, “Want some of my Victory Chips and BALL-Sa?”

Matthew replies, “Ah, I mean, if you don’t mind sharing. It’s not like I earned it.”

The man turns around and pops open the container as he starts waddling back over to Matthew. “Nah it’s cool,” he says. “I only got myself ball-related reward foods.”

A quick “Ha!” from Matthew can be heard as the panel reveals that Matthew is seated at a table with an impressive array of foods, including hard boiled eggs, two bean salsa, Nut-Thins crackers, and hot dogs.

The two pretend to clink their chips and salsa dip together as if they were wine glasses. Matthew’s friend smiles. “Well, here’s to vasectomy!” he says.

“To Vasectomy,” echoes Matthew.

The scene ends and Matthew starts to narrate. “My super buff and super fertile friend, Carlos, just had himself a vasectomy: a permanent form of sterilization. It’s a great option for us penis-and-testes-having folks who no longer want to deal with the risk of baby-making.”

Matthew puts up two fingers and says, “There are two types of vasectomies:”

Incision Method

Where they make small cuts in your scrotum and then slice or seal your Vas Deferens tube and

No-Cut Method

A faster-to-heal version where they use a TINY hole to get the work done with punctures rather than cuts.

An illustration of testes are shown with dotted cut lines and scissors over the vas deferens tubes next to the following points:

  • 99% effective

  • $0 to $1000

  • 20 minute local anesthetic surgery

  • Lasts forever

  • Takes three months to become effective

  • Low risk

“With both methods, the aim’s the same: cutting, cauterizing, folding, or blocking both Vas Deferens, which effectively stops sperm from ever getting into your ejaculate/cum, making all that future goo you shoot out infertile!”

An illustration shows how the Vas deferens are long thin tubes connected between the testes and the area around the prostate gland. These tubes are the parts that are cut with dotted cutting lines.

“You’ll still make sperm in your testes, but they’ll just get re-absorbed by your body.”

Another illustration shows the sperm trapped inside the epididymis, unable to bypass the cut in the vas deferens. The helpless sperm yell, “Help! Help, we’re trapped in here!” and “Can anyone hear us??”

“The first 15 to 20 ejaculations after surgery will still have live sperm in it, so MAKE SURE you keep using a condom until your doctor checks a sample of your semen and gives it the all-clear.”

“A vasectomy won’t change the way your orgasms look or feel and, other than having some minor surgery, you’ll be exactly the same, just unable to get people pregnant.”

An anatomical illustration of the associated reproductive system shows that while the vas deferens tubes are cut, the prostate gland is still connected to the urethra, allowing one to still produce semen and ejaculate.

Matthew holds the testicle from the illustration in his hands almost as if it were a giant light bulb.

He says, “Pretty much anybody with testes can opt to get a vasectomy, but it's still a weighty decision that warrants some good long thinking. it's designed to be permanent, so brew on it before you dive in.”

It’s not a good option for anyone who:

  • Might harbor thoughts on producing a biologically related child.

  • Feels pressure from outside sources, like friends, family, loved ones, or monetary strain.

  • Hopes it'll solve their temporary troubles.

Heads up!
A vasectomy won't stop you from getting or transmitting STIs so you may still need to wear condoms. but other than that you won't ever really have to think about baby-making again!

The panel goes back to Matthew and Carlos chatting over their snacks. Matthew, eating more chips and two-bean salsa, asks, “So, how did it go for you??”.

Carlos shrugs. “I blacked out,” he says.

“What?!?!”, responds Matthew.

The next panel shows a flashback of Carlos sitting on the examining table at the clinic. A healthcare worker puts on gloves and asks, “You ready?”. In response, Carlos pumps a fist and says, “Let’s chop ’em, boys!”

Carlos narrates over the panel. “Yeah. I thought I could do it without the anxiety drugs they offered me, but I guess I got more nervous than I thought I would, and before I knew it…”

The next panel shows Carlos starting to doze off as he’s asked, “First one done, how you doing?”

Carlos starts to say, “Ugh, I’m fine…” before fading out and fainting.

Carlos continues to narrate. “I woke up pretty quick and after drinking some juice they finished the job.”

He scratches his chin. “Sleeping that first night was hard. Even though my junk wasn’t in much pain there were some uncomfortable angles that would wake me up. It was easier the next day. I was able to walk around easily… Though I still spent most of the day wrapped in a blanket, laying on the couch and playing Smash.”

The comic ends with Carlos and Matthew swinging on a pair of snipped off vas deferens, with the testes as their seats.

Carlos winks. “All in all, it’s been smooth sailing! Honestly, I haven’t really noticed much of a vas DEFERENCE.”

Matthew boos Carlos’ terrible pun.

Notes! There IS more to learn about Vasectomies past the procedure, like how there’s a rare chance (1% ish) your tubes may grow back together within 5 years and that there are only-sometimes successful vasectomy-reversal options out there. Visit plannedparenthood.org to study up!

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This comic was posted on January 22, 2019 and transcribed March 10, 2023, by Dennie Park, who can be found at linktr.ee/DeepBeeps