Hey, let’s talk about Sex Drives and Libidos! Being a person is tough and sometimes it can feel like my sex drive is just all over the place. So I wanted to tell the story of my libido for those who may relate to those fluctuating temperatures. You’re not alone!

Matthew Notes
A big thank you, as ever, to Jey for sharing such a lovely snippet of relatable autobio. I think there’s something deeply important to be reminded that, as much as our media and culture seems to portray otherwise, our sex drives aren’t meant to be going at 100% all the time. It’s a wave that’s always in flux and there’s no ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ amount. If you want to learn more I’d recommend reading an older Erika comic about a book we absolutely adore: Come As You Are.

Today is our first update after the Pledge Drive Month! We wanted to say a huge thank you to the hundreds of you who signed up and took part. It was such a boon to the team and me to see so many of you join up with a fresh donation and commitment. Heck even just the tweets of support and kindness were amazing to see. Thank you.

We’re planning on making a post all about how it went when we actually get real numbers- Patreon is crazily complicated when you’re a per-post-account, it’s almost impossible to tell how the fundraising affected our income until a month or two after! Wild right? Regardless, the sign-ups we saw were so deeply encouraging – truly thank you all.

If you are new here or are only JUST hearing about it; We did a fundraising Pledge Drive last month to help keep this site going! If you want to be a part of that, check these hand links out! The rewards are still there for you!

– The Oh Joy Sex Toy per-comic Patreon to directly support these comics

– The Erika Moen Monthly Patreon with her many art projects

↓ Comic Transcript
The comic is toned with light teals, blues, and purples.
Jey and a friend chat at a table at an outdoor café. Jey has a white skin tone, sports a short black haircut, glasses, slacks, and a blue and white striped collared t-shirt. The friend has a light purple skin tone with curly blue hair that is pulled up into a poofy bun/ponytail. She wears a teal polka-dotted sleeveless summer dress and headband.

Their conversation is interrupted when the friend's phone pings. "No." the friend says as she reads the message, horror dawning on her. "My husband's trip... was extended... FOR FOUR MORE DAYS!" She wails as she slams her hand and phone down on the table while Jey looks on with a blank reaction.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just a few more days." Jey offers encouragingly. "You can do it!"
"But I have to wait FOUR. MORE. DAYS. TO. GET. LAID." The friend warbles in despair and frustration. "I don't think I'll make it!"
Melting across the table in despair, the friend asks, "Jey, how do you deal with your rampant sex drive?"
Reflecting thoughtfully, Jey answers, "Me? Ah well, I'm in a cool-period and my sex drive is pretty low right now."
"Low... sex... drive?!" The friend reacts in shock. "But Jey we've talked about sex so many times before, and all the sexy comic you do..."
"Haha Oh! I love sex, but like... libido is a fluid thing for me. It's normal to have ups and downs." Jey explains jovially.

The page is now filled with an ocean with various people swimming and hanging out in it. There is an illustration of Jey freezing cold in the middle of the page and then at the bottom Jey and their partner are joyfully finding each other as they float under the water together.

NARRATION: Over the years I've experienced a whole wave of sex drives. When I was younger, I just couldn't find anyone that I really connected with like that. My sex drive always felt super cold... I discovered that I'm demisexual, and to feel that sexual spark, I needed a strong emotional connection first. I began dating my parter, who was a close friend, and hot damn, I suddenly felt so fired up I was burning! Building that relationship before dating kindled my desire and yearning for intimacy.

Now Jey floats contentedly on the surface of the water on their back with a calendar and some comic pages floating next to them.
NARRATION: As I figured myself out more, I grew accustomed to the ebbs and flows of my libido. Stress and anxiety levels play a big part for me. If I've got big due dates coming up, or big personal happenings going on, I just cool right down. It's been a process, but I've been learning to be kind to myself when I'm running cold, and to celebrate when I'm feeling hot. There's no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to your sex drive!

We return back to Jey and the friend at their table.
The friend looks surprised as she responds, "Wow, I just thought everyone wanted to bone all the time... like me."
With wisdom and camaraderie, Jey answers, "What's usual for you may be very different for others."

In horror, the friend asks, "But Jey-- What do I do about my next four lonely nights?!"
"Hmm..." Jey ponders. "My advice? Go home and draw a comic about sexy orcs and elves. Who have to bang it out to deal with a diplomatic issue, over land and--"
The friend is NOT amused with Jey's suggestion,
"Aw c'mon, hear me out though." Continues Jey with determination. "The head orc comes in wearing this enchanted strap-on."
Now the friend can picture it and thinks lustily about a giant middle age masculine orc with a glorious throbbing strap-on, partially reclining seductively. "Oh, wait. Actually..." The friend considers, while now imagining a beautiful elf mouth delicately licking just the tip of the strap-on cock with Magic blossoming around them. "...enchanted strap-on you say?"