Emil Wilson is here to help us start Halloween (hallow-peen?) Season with a spooky autobio hookup story.
I love small journalistic and slices-of-life pieces like this- it’s a quick look at something that feels real and wonderful and ever so strange and human! A huge thank you for opening up and comic’ing this wonderful little experience for us, Emil!
This next month or so we’ll be looking to recruit a Reddit-savvy expert to get OJST Redditable! If that sounds like you please hit me up with an email! I’d love to chitty chat! Wanna see who’s in the team? Peek here!
TITLE: The Collector by Emil Wilson
Narrator: I arranged a hook-up with this hot guy. We seemed compatible.
Emil, a white man wearing glasses, looks at a picture of a smiling bald man on his phone.
Narrator: I arrived at this apartment and happily, he looked exactly like his online photos.
The same bald man is smiling as he opens his apartment door and we can see many full shelves behind him.
Narrator: His apartment was crammed with stuff. At first I thought he was a hoarder but then I realized that he was a collector. Of many, many things.
The bald man proudly points out his collections to Emil. The walls are completely lined with shelves that are full with similarly shaped objects.
Narrator: These collections included: thimbles, bobbleheads, dice.
Narrator: If this had been a romantic date, these collections would be a way to understand this guy better: who was he? What did he value?
Emil looks at the smiling bald man.
Narrator: More Collections: Lego sculptures, Air Jordans, superman stuff.
Narrator: But with a hookup, there was no reason to be curious or judgmental. Our paths will probably never cross again. Besides, 40% of all people collect something.
The Bald Man asks, "Do you want something to drink?" and Emil replies "Nah. Where's the bedroom?"
The bald man opens his bedroom door for Emil and gestures him inside.
Narrator: During a hookup, you're invited into the most intimate area of a stranger's home. And that's where the collections can get more personal.
Narrator: Collections in the Guy's Bedroom: Disney figurines (But only the female villains), celebrity hair (several small bags pinned to a cork board)
Narrator: I contemplate what collection, if any, might be a dealbreaker for me, something so challenging that I might have to leave before things got physical.
Emil regards the collections quizzically, with a finger to his lips.
Narrator: Hunting knives (no way!), Smelly, mold stuff (Do people really collect that?), MAGA stuff (he can believe any ideology he chooses but that doesn't mean I'll get naked with him)
Narrator: In his bedroom, he has shelves of Victorian dolls. Most are old and broken. Many of them have at least one eye missing.
The Bald Man puts his hand on Emil's back as Emil looks at the shelves of Victorian dolls.
Narrator: These dolls seem to be watching us. Even the ones without eyes.
Illustrations of a mass of broken unnerving dolls.
The Bald Man begins kissing Emil's neck and snaking his arms around Emil's shoulders from behind, while telling him, "Relax". "Yeah, I know" Emil responds, looking frozen and unsettled.
Narrator: The look like demons.
An illustration of a cracked, eye-less baby doll face.
More eye-less broken doll faces are shown with the text "Just close your eyes maybe those dolls were his grandmother's" floating over and around them.
Close up of a wonk-eyed baby doll face.
Close-up of Emil's freaked out eyes.
The bald man asks "Do you want me to cover up the dolls?" and Emil responds, "Would you mind?"
A blanket covers the doll cabinet.
As Emil and the bald guy lean in to kiss, Emil says "It's a cool collection though."
Transcribed by Erika Moen 10/23/23