Ripley here reviewing Starsi, an adorable vibrator by Cute Little Fuckers! While it wasn’t the toy for me, I love what the folks over at CLF are doing with their product line: Inclusive shapes for all bodies, all genders, and all abilities. You can only reinvent the dong-shaped vibrator so many times, other companies should be taking notes!

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In the meantime, I’ve gotta get something(s) off my chest. I’ll be back in a few months when I’ve recovered from top surgery! If you enjoy my comics and would like to support me in any way, I’m running a fundraiser to cover living costs while I’m laid up.
Matt’s Added Bit:
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↓ Comic Transcript
Page1
An unassuming androgynous sailor of small stature, wearing a sailor's top and knee-high shorts, sits in a small rowing boat scribbling down on a piece of paper. Next to them, it’s a black bottle, and behind that an abstraction of the paper that is being written on.

'Wish I May,
wish I might…
I wish…
… For a vibrator that’s a delight!
Something that I’ve never done,
Something new, something fun!'

Our Sailor puts the poem into the bottle and throws it off the side of the boat


'Ow! Hey! No littering!'
Merperson Ripley appears from the water, rubbing their head.

The Sailor leaps back, and the boat rocks as Ripley leans up on it.
Sailor 'Eep! Sorry!!'

Ripley 'No worries. Read your letter, by the way. Give this a go!'

We’re shown a panel of the sailor's hands, holding a very happy-looking starfish toy, it’s happy looking because it has a little face that's gleefully smiling away in the middle - adorable!
Sailor 'Gasp! What’s this?'

Page 2
Starts with a very large spread, showing off the Starsi by Cute Little Fuckers, in all of its glory. Floating around it are Merperson Ripley, and Sailor who is looking on with a questioning look as Ripley explains.
Around this large, splash page are some of the toys details.

A unique vibrator fresh off the docs by Cute Little Fuckers.
Starsi
Rechargeable
Waterproof
100% silicone
4.6"x1.3"
$75
Sailor 'cool!… How do I use it?'
Ripley 'Any way you like!'

'Ride it like a dolphin in the waves'
We see a little fleshed-out Stick Figure of unassuming gender, dry humping a pillow with the Starsi on top of it. Water and waves splash up all around.

'Cup your cod like a seashell bikini.'
The Stick Figure is lying down with their shades on, on a towel in front of a crab that has question marks floating around them as they watch the Stick Figure rub the Starsi in between their legs.

'Oar tickle some pickles with the diverse, tentacle vibes!'
Stick figure is joined by a second Stick Figure, and underneath an umbrella on the beach they rub the Starsi on the other's nipples.

We’re back in the boat. Our Sailor is holding up the starfish-appearing toy in front of Ripley. Who is still floating in the water.
Sailor 'Hm, sounds too good to be true, mysterious mer-person. What’s the catch?'

Page 3
Ripley closes their eyes and lifts a webbed hand up to explain.
'Whale, it’s so different from your average vibe that you can’t really expect the same waves.'
Sailor, 'I sea what you mean.'

'YEE-OUCH Those tentacles are intense!' The sailor shouts suddenly.

We are shown a close-up of somebody using the toy in between their legs, lots of vibrator lines emanate from the tips of the toy. Ripley looks on with a mildly concerned mer-look as they describe the action.
'That was my experience! The tips get most of the vibes, and sting the inside of my thighs, like a jellyfish. Some folks may enjoy that, but I found it distracting at best, if not painful.'

'Wait… thighs?' questions the Sailor, who quickly goes back to masturbating.
'OK, what about grinding? ...Yeah the vibes are just going to the tips. I’m getting nothing at the core, despite my clit being right on it! Wow, it’s so loud!'

Disappointed the Sailor slumps down on the side of the boat and hands the Starsi back to mer-Ripley.
'Sigh. Sorry, it’s just not doing it for me. This is a lovely pond skipper, but I need vibes as deep is the seven seas. What a tease!'
'That’s all right friend, we tried!' replies Ripley.

Page 4
The next panel is a depiction of the small rowing boat being picked up by a giant wave, followed by the bota at a standstill.
Ripleys narration continues. 'Everyone says “it’s not the size of the boat that matters, it’s the motion of the ocean…“ '
The sailor finishes the sentence '… But this guy doesn’t really move me! Boo.'

The sailor holds up the Stasi as compared to a more abstract goopy and soft version of itself, the OG Stassi has a label saying the original diameter, is 4.9 inches. The abstract one has a proposed diameter, 5.5 to 6 inches. Our Sailor looks on with a questioning look.
'Ironically, if it was bigger and softer, it might not dig into my thighs so bad! Maybe then the vibes with be deeper?'

Ripley holds up their Sea-Phone, you can tell it comes from the seat because it looks like a crustacean!
'The Art on the listing actually made it seem twice as big! Kind of a let-down.'
The sailor is surprised, 'Wow! It even looks squisher!'

Ripley continues surrounded by floating toys of all different kinds.
'There are a lot of good ideas here, and Starsí is well on its way to being a totally unique fish in a sea of identical vibrators. But in its current form, it’s just not what we’re looking for right now.'

The sailor holds up their arm and exasperation as Ripley tosses over a magic wand, a much larger and traditional deep vibrator.
Sailor 'And right now… I’m still horny!'
Ripley, 'back to basics!'

Page 5
The comic ends with a big and beautiful one-full-page panel of Ripley diving deep under the sea with the Starsí. Up above we see the rowboat vibrating away as the sailor takes care of their leftover business.

As Ripley floats down to the bottom to place the Starsi in a place next to many other sex toys, finishing their collection, they narrate.
'Oh Starsi… You might not float my boat yet, but you’ve already made a real splash. And someone out there loves you just the way you are. Your tentacles are perfect for foreplay, and anyone with hand mobility issues would find your shape so cozy. I’m looking forward to what your future holds, you Cute Little Fucker!'

--

Today's Oceanic Comic was written and drawn by Ripley LaCross who's links can be found at https://ripleylacross.carrd.co/
It was then transcribed by Matthew Nolan on 1/29/24!

Oh Joy Sex Toy is paid for and supported by Patreon, and we'd ask for any and all support you can give us there, so we can keep these comics and transcriptions going for another year or more! https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy