Oh my gosh, isn’t Lucy Knisley the best? She’s the best. You should read her brand new (New York Times Bestseller List!) book, Relish: My Life in the Kitchen. It’s beautiful.
You can also follow Lucy on Twitter and Tumblr.
For more information on Birth Control Implants, I direct you toooooo:
Planned Parenthood – Birth Control Implant (Implanon and Nexplanon)
A huge thank you to Carlos who was game to share his vasectomy story with me this week!
As mentioned at the end of the comic, there’s still lots of info about vasectomies out there that warrant further research if you’re contemplating it. Take a peek at Planned Parenthood.
Don’t fancy yourself a permanent form of birth control? We’ve covered several other forms here (but not all of them, of course!). Hopefully, soon we’ll have comics on tubular ligation and bilateral salpingectomy for those of you with uteruses.
Since we’re weeks away from Valentine’s Day, it’s worth reminding you all that our best-sex-toys of the year list can be found here, and if you are looking for a store to shop with, well, we love ALL the ones we list on our site: seriously, I’ve not been swapping any of them out these past few years, because they are all wonderful people with ace stores.
ALSO, the day AFTER valentine’s, Erika and I will be in SEATTLE doing a book signing at Babeland!!! Check it out here.
Matt and I are so close to finishing up our new collection of purely sex education comics for our upcoming book, Drawn to Sex: The Basics! (Kickstarter launching in MAY.) Ideally I woulda had the time and space to devote a full comic to each of these contraceptive methods, but, y’know. That is not the world we live in. Fortunately, I have links to much more in-depth resources below!
Here’s all the comics on contraception we’ve already covered:
► The Pill
► Condom Basics
► Internal Condom
► Paraguard IUD
► The Implant by Lucy Knisley
► Emergency ContraceptionPlus ALL the sex ed topics we’ve featured here on the site, including an explanation of how pregnancy even happens in the first place.
As always, let me direct you towards SCARLETEEN, which is the be-all-end-all resource when it comes to comprehensive, compassionate, sex education. If you find their information useful (which you will), please support this independent organization with a couple bucks and send their volunteers to camp.
Birth Control Info
► Birth Control Bingo
START HERE if you wanna figure out which BC may be the right fit for your body and life style. It leads to all of the pages I’m about to link below.
► Cervical Barriers (Diaphragms and Cervical Caps)
► Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)
► Condoms
► The Contraceptive Implant (Implanon)
► The Contraceptive Patch
► Depo-Provera (The Shot or Jab)
► Emergency Contraception (Plan B or the Morning-After-Pill)
► Fertility Awareness (FAM)
► Intrauterine Devices (IUD, IUC or IUS)
► Progesterone-Only Oral Contraceptives (Minipills)
► Spermicides
► The Sponge
► The Vaginal Ring (Nuvaring)
► Withdrawal
The concept of becoming a mother fucking terrifies me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if you wanna be a parent that is totally cool with me! Raising a kid looks like the hardest job in the world and I have nothing but awe and respect for the people who want to take on that responsibility. I just… am not one of them. Not at this point in my life, anyway.
The comic above is the condensed version of the many talks we’ve had over our twelve years together about whether we want to reproduce, but it does not encompass ALL of our reasons and personal details. There wasn’t space to include our omnipresent fears about being bankrupted by a medical emergency for either of us, let alone affording health care for a brand new little person who may or may not need expensive aid. Matt and I both have learning disabilities that make our lives difficult, and I have a mental illness that I fear passing on. Plus, haha, my own family experience left something to be desired and I just don’t want to recreate that situation for some innocent little kid. I dunno, there’s a whole lot more, too! But to list everything would make for a pretty boring read.
Anyway, what I’m getting at is this: This comic is a summary of the personal conversations that Matt and I have had about whether we want to become parents, it is not an argument against, or judgement of, other people having kids. Do what is right for you, my dudes. And who knows? Maybe in another ten years I’ll have changed me tune. Time will tell!
Want to not get pregnant? Baby, get you some birth control! We’ve covered a bunch of contraceptives here in the past, plus this helpful explanation of just how conception happens in the first place. We’ve also covered Emergency Contraception (Plan B), which is not abortion, and Medical Abortion, which is.
And if you’re looking to pick up some contraception or your period is late and you wanna find out what’s up with that, here’s some items you can pick up online!
There is so, so, so much more to know about The Pill and we only had time to skim the surface! Please read through the following sites and then donate some dollaz so they (Planned Parenthood and Scarleteen) can continue to be free, accessible, comprehensive sex education resources on the internet :)
Birth Control Bingo: Minipills on Scarleteen
Birth Control Bingo: The Combination Pill on Scarleteen
Birth Control Pill on Planned Parenthood
Not sure where to even start when it comes to picking the birth control that’s right for you? Scarleteen has JUST the choose-your-own-adventure-er-I-mean-birth-control game for you over at their Birth Control Bingo resource.
We’ve also covered a few other birth control options here on ol’ OJST!
The Paraguard IUD (this is the BC I’m on!), Emergency Contraception, The Implant by Lucy Knisley, Condom Basics, The Internal (Female) Condom, aaaaaand in order to understand how contraception works you should prolly brush up on how folks get pregnant in the first place.
Cross-posted from GladRag’s recap about our #SexPeriod twitter party!
On Thursday, we co-hosted a Twitter party with sexperts Heather Corinna of Scarleteen and Erika Moen of Oh Joy Sex Toy. Our highly informative (and frequently laugh-out-loud funny) #SexPeriod chat focused on how menstruators and their partners feel about period sex. Read on for a recap of our chat!
1. Sex with a partner and/or masturbation while on your period: great, gross, or just oh-whatever?
Most of our Twitter partiers agree: getting down with some sexy times during menstruation definitely helps with cramps. Some feel a little lower libido than usual, but for the most part it was a unanimous YES to this question (especially if you put down a towel first).
2. How have your sexual partners handled your period, or you theirs?
While one tweeter once had a young man tell her she was disgusting for wanting to have sex while on her period, a surprising number of partners couldn’t care less about a little extra lubrication! Way to go, non-menstruators.
3. Do you feel more or less sexy — or the same — whatever “sexy” means for you, when menstruating?
Aside from the cramps, bloating, constipation, and period zits, you’re feeling super sexy when you’re on the rag! And nothing’s sexier than a partner who soothes you during a particular bad bout of PMS.
4. Who finds their cycle influences your desire for sex? And how?
Some people find their desire is higher because they’re less afraid of accidental pregnancy. Others’ libidos drop due to hormonal impacts. In our Twitter party, many menstruators reported feeling most aroused the week leading up to their periods or when they were ovulating.
5. Do any of you feel any pressure to suppress periods (if that’s not what you’d want, ideally), especially when it comes to sex?
Most of us have skipped periods using hormonal birth control at least once, particularly when we were younger. Reasons included: long-distance partners coming to visit, staying at a significant others’ home and not wanting to stain their sheets, general convenience, or to avoid painful periods. Pro tip: if you’re going to skip a period, keep your OBGYN in the loop and always use a condom for back-up.
6. Why do you think people who treat or think of menses so differently than other body fluids do?
This question got responses ranging from blood is GROSS to societal fears of women’s bodies. Gloria Steinem’s famous essay If Men Could Menstruate was cited as an example of how menstruation might be viewed differently if men were the ones with periods… and then quickly devolved into a competition of who could fill their menstrual cup faster.
More questions & answers from our #SexPeriod chat participants:
Q: I’ve heard if you avoid sugar during/before shark week cramps aren’t so bad. Anyone know if this is true?
- “Definitely helps me! And eating right in general.”
Q: Anyone noticed a heavier flow since going hormone free? Things haven’t been this messy since I was a teenager, or had a baby!
- “My period got heavier and cramps worse when I got my copper (no hormones) IUD inserted”
- “I’ve had the opposite! After stopping hormonal bc my period has been super manageable.”
- “My flow was really heavy before my IUD”
Q: I’m hoping for some sex toy conversation because I am a sex toy n00b.
- “I’d say definitely use non-porous toys or a porous toy with a condom, or there might be staining, etc”
- “Some folks earlier were asking about periods and sex toys: easy to clean as usual, or just cover with a condom for ease!”
And of course, no menstrual discussion is complete without a few funny period stories:
- Favorite ex-boyf period sex story: After we banged on a HEAVY flow day, he didn’t have anything to clean up the massacre… So, he walked out in nothing but a condom, COVERED in blood, and told his roommates, “Guys… I… I killed her.” Epilogue: All of his roommates screamed and ran out, & he was free to leisurely walk into the kitchen for a roll of paper towels.
- True story: The first time I got my period, my mom had JUST finished telling me about it. After, I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom, looked down, and said “Uh… Mom…? What do I do now that I started?”
- Menstruation confession: I’ve always found my period to be embarrassing since when I started we were at Buffalo Wild Wings. And my mom got so excited that she shouted it out at my dad, 4 bros, and everyone watching football.
- When I got my first period I didn’t realize it because the color was brown instead of red, so I assumed I sharted w/out realizing. And when it kept reappearing throughout the day I was like “HOW AM I WET FARTING WITHOUT FEELING IT???” panicked at my mom and she explained what was happening. And then my whole family took me out for a pizza dinner and hugged me.My dad was so proud of me, the memory of his smile and hug that night is my default mental image of him.
Major thanks to our pals Erika and Heather, and everyone who showed up to tweet about sex and periods! If you agree that everyone deserves quality sexuality education, please support Scarleteen with a donation. Knowledge is power!
Erika Moen is the co-creator and cartoonist behind Oh Joy Sex Toy, which is a weekly comic reviewing sex toys, sharing sex education, and generally promoting sex positivity. She is a queer, 16 year comics industry veteran, wife, and cat mom in Portland, Oregon. Be sure to check out her comic review of the Moon Cup and GladRags Pantyliners!
Heather Corinna is the founder of Scarleteen. She’s also an activist, writer, artist, teacher and community organizer. She has been widely recognized as a pioneer of both women’s and young adult sexuality information and education online, having brought inclusive, feminist, creative and comprehensive sexuality content to the web and beyond since 1997.
My love for my Paragard IUD knows no bounds, I think it is the best thing ever (for me) and I’ve had mine in since 2006– ALTHOUGH I also know a good number of people who had very negative reactions to having an IUD (hormonal or non), so it’s definitely not the Be All, End All birth control for everyone. Unfortunately, when it comes to birth control, you won’t know if it works for you until you try it. Sigh!
If you’d like to learn more, may I recommend the following links?
Paragard – The official site!
IUD Birth Control info at Planned Parenthood – Your one-stop-shop for reproductive health information
Paragard Wikipedia Entry – It’s Wikipedia! You know what that is!
You may note that I mention Planned Parenthood somewhat regularly on this ol’ comic/blog/website and that is because they provided me with kind, humane, affordable healthcare when I was young and broke. Since 2006, I’ve been donating and volunteering and fundraising to pay them back and express my gratitude.
Speaking of which, this year’s Planned Parenthood art print fundraiser with Lucy Knisley is drawing to a close! We’ve currently raised and donated $1,400 and still have five prints left SOLD OUT. Remember, each print sold = $50 donated to Planned Parenthood.
Be one of the final five patrons to get this limited edition print, signed and numbered by both Lucy and me, and support an organization that helps people be in charge of their reproductive health.
Like it says above, this comic just covers the basics of how emergency contraception pills work (and if you need a refresher, I explained how conception and pregnancy work earlier!). I encourage you to read up more on this method of emergency birth control over at Planned Parenthood!
You can read the full interview with Saundra below!
What made you think you may be at risk of pregnancy (unprotected sex, birth control failure, etc?)
I’ve taken it three times, at an embarrassingly advanced age (probably should have known better). The first/third time it was unprotected, and when I did the math, I realized my birth control was too risky a back-up. The second time was condom failure.
What was your process of getting the pills (Specifically, did you have any drugstore employees refusing to sell it to you)
I went to Planned Parenthood (comparison shopping — luckily, I live near one and I knew they were much cheaper there).
While I never had to deal with drugstore employees being jerks to me, I took up the issue several years ago when Plan B became available over the counter. I was working at an altweekly in Ventura, California, and we printed a handy cut-out sheet of area drugstores that would be stocking Plan B over-the-counter.
I’ve also been sure to know which drugstores I live near that carry it (I’m not saying the 24-hour Walgreens was the ONLY reason I moved to 37th & Belmont a few years back, but it was a plus).
What were the side effects like?
Emotionally draining, but definitely physically draining. I am always much more tired. The first time, I got nauseated for a couple hours, and crampy.
The first time, I got my period a couple days later. This was fine and expected, but it did throw off my cycle considerably. I still have little to no idea what’s going on with it.
But each time I’ve taken EC, I’m genuinely sad and a little depressed. It caused some friction with my partner (in his defense, he’s always extremely grateful when I elect to take EC just to be safe). But for whatever reason, he couldn’t quite understand how carpet-bombing one’s system with extra hormones makes a person a bit more delicate, emotionally. (It was also early in the relationship, which started out rocky. Kind of a double-edged sword: I wasn’t myself, and then I was doubly upset he couldn’t understand where I was coming from. I once sat at work and forwarded him links to forums of women talking about how batshit insane they felt after taking EC. For, like, an hour.)
Communication has improved exponentially with him, and I think we’re just so much kinder to each other in general. Still, It occurs to me that if I ever take EC again, I would ask for him to give me a couple days by myself, just to avoid conflict. I’m only half-serious about that, but it’s tempting.
To illustrate the hormonal blues: the last time I took EC was the weekend the new Arrested Development episodes came out. There were probably other external issues stressing me out, on the periphery, but I remember sitting in my apartment on a beautiful warm Sunday and just feeling down and in a funk. And I thought, “Not even new, long-awaited episodes of one of my all-time favorite shows can save me? What is WRONG with me!?”
When I remembered I’d taken Next Choice the day before, I felt relieved. Much in the way I’ll sometimes find myself feeling sad and reflective, then get my period soon after, and think, “Oh, thank God! Something to explain feelings!”
How did you feel about the experience once the side effects were over?
Complaints aside, the side effects were surprisingly minor and relatively painless. And feeling a bit off was reassuring — I equated it with the pills’ efficacy. EC just felt like a safeguard.
I’m still functional on the stuff, and I feel a sort of gratitude toward the product. I now have a couple packs I keep around just in case. The brand is Ella, and by virtue of the package design and the name, the whole thing strikes me as actually quite positive. (I was a huge Ella Fitzgerald fan in high school, so the box really puts me at ease — someone in marketing knew what they were doing.)
This is probably outside the focus of the article, but there’s a political issue in all this I struggle with — sexual politics, really. In my experience, anyone who hasn’t taken EC can’t quite appreciate how rough EC is on the body. Even with a supportive partner, it’s a strangely isolating experience, I guess? It’s all consistent with the uneven nature of birth control and family planning in general, of course — women tend to shoulder an inordinate physical burden.
Another side, not necessarily relevant, story: I was once on the phone with my best friend from middle/high school, and we were talking about how her first pregnancy was going. I, meanwhile, was walking to Planned Parenthood to get EC. It struck me as a funny illustration of how we were in somewhat different stages of our lives. I found it kind of novel, rather than upsetting.
Would you use EC again?
Yes. I’m even more careful with birth control now, since I’m loathe to subject myself to a day or day and a half of generalized sadness. But as I’ve said, EC is a great safeguard, and I have two packs of it in my bathroom drawer.
Holy shit, it’s my birthday!
31 and feeling… hung?
Hm, I’ll keep workin’ on that one.
Today we review porn site, FrolicMe.
Guys, I love Condoms, and I realllly want you to love them too.
If you’re still feeling uneducated and want to learn more about condoms, head over to Planned Parenthood.
The Condoms I listed in the comic are:
LifeStyles Skyn
Beyond Seven Ultra Thin
Those are just fast single links, but you can pick up the condoms at pretty much all our favorite stores. Check our affiliated friend’s stores, and give them a search!
Other condoms that I’ve tried and likes but didn’t make it past our comic editing process:
One Zero thin Condoms
– circular packets!
– Ethical choice! Purchases supports HIV/AIDS efforts in Africa
– nice shape: comfortable to wear
Durex extra sensitive
– dead simple.
– My old European easy-to-find choice
Kimono Microthin
– Super thin!
– a bit tight
Erika also did another comic about putting on condoms for Cards Against Humanity, which you can read here!
You can learn more about internal condoms in general over on Planned Parenthood or specifically the FC2 Female Condom over on their site or you can get some for yourself below!